The Bimbofication of Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly
The Bimbofication of Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly
Hot people can be cringe too.
To be weed or not to be weed, that is the question — one that Machine Gun Kelly so effortlessly answered in a now historic article written by Molly Lambert for British GQ. The article, published on Oct. 11, follows “Hollywood’s hottest new power couple” as they give each other tattoos, smell each other’s breath, and embrace each other in their very own “dark fairytale” romance. And I read every word of it so that you don’t have to.
Megan Fox and Colson Baker (yes, that’s his real name) began dating in spring of 2020 after meeting on the set of the film Midnight in the Switchgrass, which received a whopping 9% on Rotten Tomatoes and was famously directed by Randall Emmett, the fiancé of LaLa from Vanderpump Rules. One of my many constants in life is that everything comes back to Bravo’s Vanderpump Rules.
However, this wasn’t the couple’s first encounter. The two briefly met a few years prior, at a GQ party in LA, where this straight-out-of-a-Wattpad-fanfiction moment happened:
You know the bar is on the floor when something like “I am weed” sweeps even Megan Fox off her feet.
Megan Fox and MGK’s first kiss wasn’t even a kiss, by the way.
Megan Fox rose to prominence in Hollywood as a teenage actress during the early 2000s, often categorized as the queer-coded (slay) mean girl in movies like Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen or Jennifer’s Body. MGK began his career as a rapper in 2011 and is most known for being Pete Davidson’s best friend. The couple also made headlines as Travis Barker and Kourtney Kardashian's double-date buddies. I stand by the fact that this picture is giving sophomore girls that date senior boys because they have cars to drive them to Dunkin’ after school.
But Megan and MGK are more than just the pseudo-celebrities they hang out with. They’re like the 2021 version of Tommy Lee and Pamela Anderson, Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love, or whoever this couple from Vine is.
In early 2020, Fox ended her on-again, off-again relationship with ex-husband Brian Austin Green after meeting when he was 30, and she was just 18 years old. The reemergence (dare I say, renaissance) of Megan Fox within the past year has almost a positive correlation to recent revisionist movements like #FreeBritney — in which the media recognizes its culpability in the sexist, invasive, grooming, and oversexualized coverage of young female stars in the early 2000s. Fox faced some of the worst of it, but she’s not looking for an apology.
The couple inspires each other to be open about their issues, like MGK’s post-traumatic stress, which he literally called postpartum depression in the interview. No, I’m not kidding.
It’s refreshing to hear that someone like MGK is almost self-actualized, in a way. When asked if he’s ever fallen in love before, MGK recalled his past experiences like a wise old grandmother: “And then you are in the arms of your destiny and realise ‘I don’t know shit yet’. That’s when the adventure starts, right?’” I’m starting to think that Machine Gun Kelly is on the “I don’t chase, I attract” manifestation side of TikTok too.
Really, Megan and MGK are just like any other couple (“Stars, they’re just like us!”). Yes, they’re as cringey as can be, but I’d be lying if I said I’ve never had those “If you’re weed, I’m weed” moments in my relationships — well, not exactly that, but you get what I mean. Let’s face it: it’s extremely difficult to get past the fact that most men are just some guy, but Megan Fox has done it. Let her be horny for her weird man in peace.